"You have rights as a nursing mother. For example, you have the right to breastfeed a child in a public area. No one should prevent you from nursing your child simply because you are in a public area. They should not ask you to "cover up", disturb you, or ask you to move to another area that is more "discreet"."

BREASTFEEDING ETIQUETTE IN THE SHARED-USE RINK HOUSE

When Dufferin Rink was rebuilt eleven years ago, it seemed like a good idea to widen its use so that families as well as youth would like to go there. Rinks have a tendency to become a bit unpleasant, with some scary scenes being played out - bullying and various illegal transactions. Dufferin Rink used to be well known as a place like that. If the rink could be made a more pleasant place, we thought, families would return and there would be a mix of rink uses that would be better for everyone - youth too.

So we added the wood stove and the cookies and the storybooks, and gradually families returned. We got female as well as male rink staff, worked with the city to improve the ice cleaning, posted "no swearing" rules on the wall, and more families came. (More youth too, the ones who had been bullied away before.) There used to be trouble with fights and damage on Friday nights, so Dan DeMatteis and Lea Ambros started Friday Night Supper, and the eaters squeezed out the rascals. Then the market came, and now there are days when it’s hard to find anyplace to change into skates, the place is so full of activity.

The youth whose turf was altered in this way have been pretty accepting of the changes, even if they have to go outside or into the washroom to change on busy days.

However it’s important to make sure that a balance is maintained between being a shinny hockey change house and a place for families with little children. One issue that recently tested this principle came up over the breastfeeding of babies in the rink house.

Here’s our practice: breastfeeding a baby is welcome anywhere in the rink house at any time. Babies have to eat, and that’s the best way to nourish them (so that they will become strong skaters and hockey players!). No need to hide the nursing baby by putting a blanket over its head while it nurses, either - why hide such a wonderful sight?

There is however a problem if a mother feels the need to disrobe in such a way that a good deal more than the nursing baby is visible. A few babies are a bit rowdy, and hard to nurse discreetly. In those cases, we have several options. There is a comfortable seat in the women’s washroom (the washroom is bigger and brighter than normal, so there’s room for a nursing corner). If the baby’s mother wants to stay in the main room, there is a curtain that can be pulled across half the room, or if she prefers, there is a small screen that can be placed beside her, wherever she’s sitting, to give a bit more privacy.

The reason why any radical disrobing during breastfeeding is screened like this is that many people find it unsettling to see a woman who is visibly undressed in the middle of the rink change room. Youth of both sexes are often modest, and so are many of the families of different cultures who have also come to use the rink house.

(By the way, a message to the occasional shinny hockey players who feel the need to strip down and change before or after they play hockey: the same thing applies to you folks - pull the curtain or change in the very large men’s washroom, sitting on the bench that’s provided there. Not everyone wants to see your underwear.)

Shared use of the rink house means taking into account all the different points of view, so all the different groups can come inside. Babies can eat, people can skate, farmers can bring their excellent food, young folks can play checkers with friends - the whole quilt.

Dear Friends of Dufferin Grove Park:

Over the years, you have repeatedly demonstrated a remarkable ability to find wiggle room in the park and turn it into genuine community space. Our neighbourhood groups and individuals have benefited enormously from your innovations with shared-use facilities, and your efforts have won our continued heartfelt respect and appreciation.

It is with respect, therefore, that I am requesting your cooperation in ensuring that the right of any woman to breast-feed in any place or manner she sees fit is respected without challenge in Dufferin Grove Park. The decision to encourage a nursing mother to "cover up" a little more or move to a more discreet location contravened the mother's rightful expectation of dignified and respectful treatment in a public facility.

When it comes to human rights like those afforded to breast-feeding mothers, there is no wiggle room to be found. Nor should there be. Many people have worked hard to secure these rights in the Ontario Human Rights Code, and consequently in Parks and Recreation policy, and I do not believe we should have a part in trying to scale them back. The Ontario Human Rights Commission's "Policy on Discrimination Because of Pregnancy" (attached) is clear:

"The Code prohibits discrimination in "services, goods and facilities" against women who are breast-feeding. This means that a woman cannot be prevented from breast-feeding a child in, for example, a public area or restaurant. She also cannot be asked to move to a more "discreet" area to breast-feed a child."

To deny a woman in Dufferin Grove Park freedoms she would enjoy in any other Parks and Recreation facility in the City of Toronto seems to me to be contrary to the spirit of the Friends of Dufferin Grove Park.

I have requested that Parks and Recreation provide the woman whose breast-feeding choices were challenged with:

1. An apology

2. Assurances that she is welcome to participate in the activities at Dufferin Grove Park while nursing her child however she sees fit, and

3. An invitation to report any future breast-feeding challenges by staff or volunteers directly to Parks and Recreation Management for resolution.

I have asked Parks and Recreation for the apology because they are directly accountable for the implementation and oversight of City policy, including Human Rights policy, in the park and rink house. I refer you to their letter of 14 January 2005 (copied,) in which they advise you that your policy on breast-feeding in public facilities, as posted on your website, conflicts with Parks and Recreation's. In the end, if we expect Parks and Recreation to be accountable for all activities in the park, then City policy must prevail.

Again, I ask for your cooperation in this matter, and I look forward to a return to the positive and inclusive environment for which our community has become well known.

Yours truly,

Councillor Adam Giambrone
Ward 18-Davenport

Dear E--,

Please allow me to apologize for the breastfeeding incident at Dufferin Grove. The City has taken, and will continue to take steps to clarify that breastfeeding in public is permitted on City premises and that there is no policy regarding appropriate methods or techniques. Under the City of Toronto’s Human Rights and Harassment Policy, every person has a right to equal treatment with respect to City services and facilities, without discrimination or harassment due to sex. This right is also required under the Ontario Human Rights Code. A number of human rights cases have established that protection from discrimination or harassment on the basis of sex includes a woman’s right to breastfeed.

Equal treatment with respect to City services and facilities ensures that a nursing mother is entitled to all amenities a non-nursing mother enjoys. For example, watching a hockey game, supervising the activities of her other child(ren) in a recreation centre, and participating equally in community events at City facilities. The preferences or discomfort of other people, or the original use of the space cannot be used to justify a violation of human rights law. Any accommodation must respect the dignity of the individual; limiting breastfeeding to the washroom or providing screens because of some people’s discomfort would be a contravention of human rights principles.

Members of the public are expected to adhere to the City of Toronto policies on while City premises. Toronto Parks & Recreation is committed to upholding both the letter and the spirit of the Ontario Human Rights Code as it relates to this issue, including the Ontario Human Rights Commission’s Policy and Guidelines on breastfeeding as supported by Toronto Public Health.

Once again please accept our apologies.

Don Boyle Director, Parks and Recreation, South District

This past year, the Friday Night Suppers at the park grew bigger than the cooks and the park friends had expected when they started the suppers the year before last. The cooking was often fun but sometimes it seemed that people thought the suppers were more like a conveniently-cheap kid-friendly restaurant than a chance to meet their neighbours. The rink house presented particular problems. We tried to make some changes - replace chairs with benches, put the tables into long rows - to encourage people to squash closer together and talk to strangers. It worked at first but not for long. People soon resumed "saving" big parts of the tables for only their friends, and if strangers sat next to them, there was often no effort to include them in the talk. The good will that's needed for a rink supper to be fun was in short supply with some groups, replaced by complaints about the service (?!) and the crowding. But the supper was never intended to be a service. In addition, people who just came to skate and play hockey were squeezed out into the cold to change, not only during the supper but also after (people lingered longer and longer at their tables, unaware of the skaters). Between the farmers' market and the supper with kids playing indoor tag and toys to trip over, the skaters began to wonder out loud if they were going to be displaced completely.

Then came the now-well-known [ed: find the Breastfeeding Crisis of 2005 on the About Us page] unhappiness of a diner about a request made by a person unfamiliar to her, who was helping to clear up after the supper. The diner's decision to report the unfamiliar person to the city for comments which she felt were "an illegal act under the human rights code," rather than seek a conversation, again underlined how un-communal the suppers had become for some participants. When the park became a public scandal in NOW Magazine and on the internet, the cooks and some of the park friends concluded that they'd better call a halt to the community suppers for now, and rethink the whole idea.

There will still be some wonderful food available on the weekends (the cooks love to cook), but the rink house will be focused mainly on people who come to skate. During the February special events, food will play a part as usual. There's even some thought of having a supper outside, with snow-bench seats and candles on the hillside, just once, before the snow leaves. Watch the rink house bulletin board and the web site for announcements.

Last Updated February 4 2005

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